


Break My Heart again

by FeralXWingPilot



Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First fanfic be nice pwease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic, This is really sad, they gotta get their shit together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 20:00:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21003341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralXWingPilot/pseuds/FeralXWingPilot
Summary: Song Fic“So go ahead and break my heart again, leave me wondering why the hell i ever let you in”———Au where Ten comes back to Jack earlier than Utopia, and comes willingly





	Break My Heart again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cyberpIanner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyberpIanner/gifts).

> First fic pls be nice i beg
> 
> I do not own these characters nor do i own doctor who i don’t have the mind for that

The doctor took long strides around the dimly lit Tardis - he was walking around Jack’s room, reminiscing of way back when they first met.

He replayed every second behind his brown eyes up until he left the time agent. Oh Jack. How confused he made the doctor feel.  
He thought about going back and seeing Jack again. But would the immortal even want him to?  
He wouldn’t want to see him. Would he? Hadn’t it been too long? Or was it too soon? Yes, ofcourse.

“Thats fine. Im fine”.

His voice reverberated throughout the walls of his old girl, the echo ricocheted back to him feeling like a comforting embrace but also a message. Go to him.

“No”.

He sat on the old companions bed, contemplating with a lump in his throat. Why would he still want him around? He’s ignoring him for a reason. No calls. No attempt to find him.

He could be, or he’s busy, a hopeful part of him smoothed it’s way to the surface. What a disgusting, selfish lie, he told himself feeling his eyes and nose prickle painfully. Pitifully.

“DAMN HIM!” He yelled, standing up and turning around to throw the sheets to the floor, then proceeding to back up until he hit the wall as if being cornered by a bully.  
He felt tears build up in his eyes and spoke again with a weakness to his voice.

“Why don’t i ever learn, eh? Why shouldn’t he just do it. Just go on then!” He screamed at the bed across the wall, mocking him as tears fell down his cheeks.  
“Just go ahead and break my heart again” he let out a broken sob. Why did he ever let him in?

He’s a fact, how could he be so stupid to fall in love with a fact?!  
“Yeah thats really me, huh” he whispered  
“Gods Jack, are you the definition of insanity? Or am i?” Either way...

“Go on and break me twice, i’ll let you” he said with a slight tremor, due to the emotional outburst.

—————

Jack was halfway across the universe in Cardiff, sitting at his desk in Torchwood. he sent everyone home early thinking he could get some work done before signing off.

Instead he found his mind drifting to a blue box specifically the blue man often inhabiting it.

He remembered the Doctor leaving him on that planet, he later had gotten a message on his psychic paper while trying to find a way back to earth  
‘Please forgive me, why i did the thing i did wasn’t just to abandon you’. He wonders if his Doctor ever found that deeper meaning, or if it was just some fancy words to seduce him into forgiving the doctor.  
A beautiful lie woven in self hatred but also a deep need to be forgiven. And oh how very Doctor that was. And how very Jack to forgive him anyway.

The doctor must really think Jacks gone blind to think that Jack doesn’t see the indescribable sadness and ancient ache displayed beyond his eyes whenever he tells Jack ‘i’m fine’.

His heart throbbed painfully as if his body was simply too small to contain the hurt that had taken up residence in his chest, as if his ribs would surely break, for his bones are too weak. So he obliged, feeling the familiar sting in his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling

“Good God just go ahead and break my heart again why don’t you, doc?” He whispered to the air, feeling the wetness track down his face slowly. Ever so slowly. He had to go the long way round this time.  
Why the hell did he ever let that blue man in?

“God he’s gonna turn me insane one day, is that what you are doc? Are you the definition of insanity?” He felt his lip quiver as he forced the words out.

He stood abruptly hearing the familiar groaning-wheezing sound coming from outside and clambered through the base to get to the door.

He felt the bitter air tickle at his wet cheeks and slowly stumbled towards the bug blue box. He leaned against the doors, slid down to the floor and decided with an air of finality.

Guess the time lord will just have to break him twice.

He dared that man to come out and call him the instigator. Jack was stronger now and wiser than he was back when they first met, he knew it was doc’s fault, leaving him on that planet and not coming back.  
But he was born to say goodbye and Jack will be damned it that was their final goodbye.

———

The doctor was on the other side of the doors, sporting wet cheeks and red rimmed eyes, ruffled hair and a crinkled suit as he pulled the tardis doors open to see Jack on the other side.

Jack stood up slightly off balance and the Doctor helped steady him, they stared at each other then collided. Shattered pieces of themselves melding together with just enough glue to keep them together for now, to keep them from falling apart.

The Doctor pulled away and Jack felt more that just the physical cold until he felt fingertips slide and grip his jaw and pulled Jack into a searing kiss that burned less like a branding and more like a promise.  
Jack pulled away to stare and analyse the weary time lord, and oh how weary he was.

Half a decade later ; new face, new clothes. The same smell, the same sad eyes.

He looked into his eyes and uttered  
“Go ahead and break my heart again, i don’t care, i’ll still be here”

The Doctor stared at Jack  
“Why the hell did i ever let you in, you’ve only gotten hurt” he paused to drag in a stuttering breath  
“I’ll let you break me twice, as many times as it takes”.

Jack choked out wetly  
“Are you the definition of insanity?”

“Or are you?” The time lord breathed out, reaching out a hand to the immortal.

He took it.


End file.
